when i was 10 years old you hurt me

you made me hate myself, you made me want to die

you hurt me every night everyday for a year.

you told me you would kill me if i told 

why would a 10 year old believe that…

flash to 9 years later, its Chavez weekend in my college town

and the whole town is intoxicated.

i went out in the day because i thought no one could hurt me in the daylight.

i was wrong.

i was hot, i had a head ache, and i just wanted to go home.

i asked a guy – who i assumed was inn the frat- for the bathroom.

he showed me the way 

(yep you guessed it) he followed me in.

you hurt me.

again, i was a little helpless body that couldn’t move, couldn’t get any words out.

maybe i didn’t say no over and over again but i clearly wasn’t into it.

just because i didn’t say no doesn’t mean yes. or does it in your mind 

i froze

and i will probably also blame myself for that

10 and 19 years old 

you maybe not be in the same person, but in my mind

you are both the devil

now every time i’m with a man all i see is the devil 

all because you hurt me.